inferiority complex

Hey my lovely ones! so this post has been written soo late at night (around 12.27am) with reasons and one is that I could not sleep because I have been think of this for the last two weeks. This is one of those posts which will be sooooooo long but I promise you it will be worth it. It has to be! That is why am up this late.Ooh and I should apologize to my male readers because this happens to be for the ladies….again!!but y’all know you can get your sisters, girlfriends or your mum(if you wish) to read this and hey maybe you might get some insight on some girl ‘code’ *wink*

So of late I have been hanging out with a bunch of wonderful friends and am glad there are so many lessons about life that am learning from them and this post was basically a ‘push’ from one of them, Njeri.Shout out to her for being an angel. You know everyone knows you are the sweetest creature on earth darling! a gift from heaven is what I can describe you. But this post is not about her, Its about inferiority in women.

The past few weeks, have made me feel soo hurt by the fact that  soo many ladies are letting the inferiority syndrome take control of their lives. I have witnessed ladies being abused by their so called men (not even in a light note)and still go back to them..I have seen ladies being beaten brutally but still going back to the same man…I have seen ladies begging for a man to love him yet he doesn’t!!Why do we let inferiority destroy our images ladies???I know maybe we might have trust issues or carry our burdens from our up-brings but that should not be the case.

I was watching Victoria’s lounge the other day and they were speaking on how women are enemies of themselves (I hope that was the correct topic) we never really support each other in our success, even in our weaknesses. I might see a friend in need but  I would not help them because I think she should fix her own issues. It also applies to success, we get soo jealous of another woman succeeding..Why????See this is the reason why there are some of our own who are in dare need but don’t know where to run to and they end up suffering from what I call ‘self-damage’. I know if I were to support so and so then they would not make such and such mistakes. We should be each other’s keeper. Sometimes our judgment is so clouded that we need a clear conscious to remind us of the right path and that is why there is you and me. To help each other.

I don’t understand why we should be enemies because of a guy yet I am 100% sure most guys will still be friends even if they were pursuing the same chic. Really absurd!! But don’t say it’s life cause it’s not…it’s a sick mentality that we have cultivated which we should stop!!!Let’s just be one, talk to another and for the record you are not a mat to beg or be stepped upon…if he doesn’t want you walk away,,,make it your  purpose  to live the life God created you to live. Don’t be limited by your upbringing, don’t say you will just get a man like your dad; an abuser, a drunkard, a player…don’t look for such a man. Look for a man who you don’t see all those ugly personalities in. As a matter of fact look for a man who is going to bring the very best out of you!!And yes he should be a man after God’s own heart.

So to end this long post, remind yourself you are greater than what you think..You can overcome and sometimes the tears maybe soo much but never feel you are under human being’s feet...you are only allowed to be down on your knees when you are with your Creator. It breaks my heart to see my fellow lady suffer so much because they force love. Love comes at its right time. Please stop forcing it and let God do his thing!!You just seat back and relax…he’s got a plan darling. I guess this is not only for you but am also speaking to myself as a reminder during this transition from a “want to experience it all’ to where I want to be. To be strong, hold my head up and stand up for another lady. So to any lady out there who we have crossed paths or offended  in any way this is my apology to you and know that I stand up for you.

In case you want to know more about relationship I recommend this book..’ power of pussy’ by Kara King..lool I know the title is abit outrageous but it’s an amazing book for women especially on relationships. I have been reading it and It has given me soo much insight and empowerment.

p/s:shout out to my special someone for always letting me be the best of me(and for being my biggest critic of all time)

GOSPEL LYRICS: IT ALL BELONG TO YOU by Damita Haddon

GOSPEL LYRICS: IT ALL BELONG TO YOU by Damita Haddon: Your browser does not support this audio My heart, my mind, my soul belongs to you My love, my life it all belongs to you Belongs to...

you're beautiful hun!!

I had a conversation with a friend of mine last week(sorry for posting it late)and it was so interesting that he kept insisting that I should post it on my blog.What actually  happened was that a young lady was  roaming around the place we were seated.It wasn’t the fact she was walking all around looking clueless that caught our attention but her dressing and hairstyle that made us have this whole conversation.She was in a white short(abit too short for class)with a black tank top and her hair tied in a bun(may I add she had colored braids) but shaved on the sides(I can’t recall the name of that hairstyle but I believe Rihanna was the first artist I saw it with and in case you have listened to Demi Lovato’s  ‘nightingale’ song then you know where  I am getting at).

We both kept looking at her for a while then this is what followed:-

ME:My dad can never allow me to have colored braids!!

HIM:Why do ladies have to put on colored braids anyway?It makes them look weird.

ME:I think most ladies who put on colored braids,skimpy clothes,too much makeup and extremely bright colors are just in secured.They lack inner confidence but they do all this to appear confident so that they may not be judged.

HIM:Exactly!!put that sh*t on your blog…It’s for real!!You talk about life right?!then that’s a fact

ME:*LAUGHING*am going to post it tomorrow

By the time we were done with our conversation we had to attend another lecture but I kept think, is this real the case?I had watched a reality show where they would transform  ladies dressing codes and hairstyles and that day they were transforming a young lady(apparently she was a nurse).She was too extreme with colors from purple/green wigs and weaves to luminous clothes(skimpy ones!!) .She was in the show so that she may learn how to tone it down but in the process of letting go,she confessed how she felt ugly and fat. That all she wanted was to impress men and have them notice her.See under all that layer of make up and fake hair was a broken soul which was trying soo had to fit.I felt pity for her but she had taught me something.

Not all ladies that apply makeup or have colored hair are in-secured or lack self-esteem  NO-NO-NO!!that is not what am saying.I know somethings are just because of trends but we should take into account there are ladies out there who are bitter and angry at life,who are in low spirits and they feel rejected.They try soo hard to fit in society.Buy the latest trends,do the craziest things just to be noticed and loved.Men,ladies love attention(at least a listening ear) and someone to remind them how beautiful or how good they are.

So my dear ladies,this was specifically for you not to tarnish our name but to remind you that YOU ARE WONDERFUL,BEAUTIFUL,GORGEOUS and no one can change that fact except your creator.Don’t hide under all that makeup thinking you’re not beautiful enough trust me there is someone out there who believes you’re the most gorgeous creature on planet earth.

Someone once told me “you know you can put on dirty clothes,torn shoes,untidy hair but the confidence you exhibit will turn heads!!” ha-ha I know it was abit exaggerated but she just wanted to prove to me the power of confidence.

Here is what I believe Confidence(never go overboard) + self-esteem = BEAUTY

Hold your head up high hun!!you are BEAUTIFUL!!